The
Price of Resentment
I received a little support piece in the mail yesterday and it caused
me to think about how we hold our personal truths to be self-evident,
and what it costs us in being so right about our resentments in
our lives. I am reminded how much we who are surrendering into this
loving energy of Reiki continue to be tried about these truths.
So I wish to share the story and some insight.
"One of my
teachers had everyone of us bring a clear plastic bag and a sack
of potatoes. For every person we held resentment for in our life
experience, we chose a potato, wrote on it the name of the person
and the date of the occasion that caused the resentment. We were
instructed to put the each of these potatoes in the plastic bag.
Some our bags were quite heavy.
We were then told to carry this bag with us wherever we went
for one week. We were to put it beside out bed and night and pick
it back up in the morning. It was to sit on the seat next to us
when we drove, next to our desk at work; it was to be our constant
companion. The hassle of lugging this around with us made it clear
what a weight we were caring around spiritually, and how we had
to pay attention to it all the time and not leave it in embarrassing
places.
Naturally the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty
slime. It was a great metaphor for the price we pay for keeping
our pain and heavy negativity. Too often we think letting go of
our resentment towards others is a gift to them when it is quite
the opposite. It is clearly for ourselves."
I let the story work with me today. I would think of people who
I had resented in the past, Also the resentment I had towards
myself at times. I had also resented myself for not being good
enough or smart enough. All those judgements I made and for all
my very good reasons. The reasons are always justified. We hold
out Truths (Judgements) to be self-evident. After all our minds
say...when you did this and I felt this way. Therefore... I must
and I will ...forever more. And so on ad nausea.
Then I started a process of feeling what resentment does to a
person's energy, to my energy. Where does the righteousness settle
in me and how does it feel. I likened it to that sack of potatoes.
How heavy does it need to get to stop caring it around so proudly?
How long must it decay and break me down? I then took it a step
further. I look at my involvement in my Reiki community. Where
had "My truths" (judgements) impacted upon others. Had
I given them space to have their truth? Could we come away from
resenting other systems, and other people's ways in Reiki to find
a common ground?
Many of us are carrying around a large sack of resentment about
how we feel Reiki should be. I have my own concerns about the
general acceptance of this system that some do not seem to cherish
as I do. It has made me more willing to be an example of the love
that Reiki brings to us. I am committed to seek out my intolerance
and resentment, clear these from my being and come back into my
center.
There is a truth so simple yet profound that is based on the
center of Reiki, the pivotal power point, the way in and way out
to everything. In the center is love and harmony. In this beautiful
system that started with one man named Usui, the simplicity of
the practice, the spiritual support that one receives as we surrender
into Reiki is supported by this love. Certainly by coming back
into this center all the truths that are held as Individual self-evident
reasons are no longer necessary. These reasons create separation
and pain. They hurt us physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
We as a group of people can find our way to freedom by remembering
this basic truth which is all encompassing, acknowledging and
empowering. Love is all there is there is no room for resentment,
hate, and pride. All these things are opposite to love. Love is
the center of Reiki. This is the plain and yet profoundly simple
truth. What is actually so self evident is often a mystery and
yet what is not so mysterious like resentment is so plainly seen.
The all-elusive truth that the wise men seemingly hid from us
and that we continue to search outside ourselves, is LOVE.
So today I came full circle. I started with my self and ended
up with myself with alot of process in the middle.
Mari
I am you, you are me, and we are one. I wish to stand in the
pure and simple truth of this with all of you. Let us return back
to love. This is the truth of Reiki and us
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