A
Sense of Safety
The longer I am in the practice of Reiki then more I realize
how interconnected our lives are. What was a big world in one
moment becomes small enough to hold in my hand and take into my
heart. What have been times of loneliness and isolation has now
become the desire to embrace all my family of mankind. But how
did I get from one reality to the next, Reiki of course!
We all have our stories of the miraculous way Reiki has touched
our lives. And any miracle no matter how big or small is just
that, a miracle!
I had been "doing" Reiki for years in the United States
and had moved into what I thought of as a space of peaceful surrender.
Normal work and my work with reiki were separated in my life.
I had a fine line that divided the two. I did not speak much about
my "other" life to people because I knew they would
not understand, or worse would think I was one of those newagers
and had my head in the clouds. On the other side of the coin I
did not talk about my "normal" life with people I treated.
So I was in all senses of the word a dual personality. As long
as I held the status quo I could juggle these two lives of mine
abet being hard at times.
Since taking Reiki into my life I had been healed of a congenital
back problem, my life had been changed on so may levels yet I
was still not able to integrate the two sides of my life with
any feeling of safety. I realize now that for most of my life
I had been searching for that safe space to be me, and had not
found it. Controlling my life, keeping things in nice compartments
was my way to feel safe.
One day I was given a choice that would change my life so completely
and profoundly. I could leave all that was safe and study in a
holistic center, but to do this required that I quit my normal
job and move to England for a three-month period of time. I understand
now that to not feel safe for three months was better than "forever."
I choose to not straddle the line anymore. I ended up jumping
over the line to Reiki full time. It took more than a day to accomplish
and that in its self is another story. Away from my safety net
and in England with no means of support, I decided to stay and
teach Reiki in the UK. I was so engrossed with the work I never
thought about the need to feel safe. I was living from a different
part of my being. A deeper healing had taken place in me.
What also was happening in my life was living synchronistical.
I feel it is because my focus was so much in the present moment
that I was more aware of how things came to play in my life. What
I needed was provided for. The people places and certainly circumstances
all gave me opportunity to begin to BE Reiki, rather than to do
it.
Many years have passed since those early days in England when
I stood on the top of the Tor in Glastonbury and proclaimed my
intention to live and work in Europe. I have gone from having
two suitcases and traveling on trains to having a home and a car
even in another country. I have been so supported to BE in my
practice of Reiki. In the being is also the realization of the
continual surrender into this divine and loving energy.
Early in my journey in Europe I was introduced to a wonderful
woman in the Netherlands who is a healer. She asked me what I
did. I told her proudly that I was a Reiki Master. She looked
at me with all seriousness and said. "You may have a paper
that says you are a master of reiki, but you are not. You must
learn to be a master of reiki and that takes time." I was
taken aback with what she said. I did not understand it then and
felt that she did not truly see me.
Over these past ten years of being in the practice of Reiki and
being Reiki, not just doing it, I have taken on more wisdom. Her
words have often rung true in my ears as I work with my own master
candidates. I am still learning, I am still being, and I am a
Reiki Master still being mastered by Reiki.
Living and working in other countries has afforded me the opportunity
to come up against prejudice and intolerance in others and myself.
This experience has continued to evoke me to "Walk the Walk
and Talk the Talk of the potential for peace in the world by using
Reiki. I have held a Russian woman in my arms as she was dying.
I have celebrated life in a camp of gypsies by dancing and singing.
I have been present at the birth of a deformed child. I have heard
the cries of the homeless and I am seeing potential for change
in countries ravaged by war. All this and so much more have evoked
me to see all humanity as my brothers and sisters.
My deepest impression is that in order to be one with people
we must first do our inner work to be one with ourselves. Reiki
has helped me to bridge the internal compartments in myself that
have separated me from fully loving and accepting myself. In loving
who I am I am better able to love others. My heart has been broken
open wide with compassion for all beings on this earth, including
me. Being in the practice of Reiki has given me the opportunity
to find my place in this world beside all others. And in this
is the deepest sense of safety and of homecoming.
Mari Hall
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