The Wonder
of the Moment
It is easy to search for the truth, but for some, it is
hard to live it. Often we are so "externalized," we
find it uneasy to listen to the beating of our own heart, and
so it goes.
I have found myself in bed with a serious illness and thinking
to myself, what shall I read or think about my last night in this
body. I lay there with sadness too, since I thought , how does
one reach out to the ones one loves and say, tonight I may leave
and I want to say I love you.
And as one sheds these concerns in the absence of "active"
ability. one learns to be passive, to let life and death wash
over you like the tide washes the beach each night. And so in
the dark and in the smallness of my room, I danced with death
and danced with life, the last dance, I thought...and I closed
my eyes, even the worry that it was my last time to have awareness
in this human body, exposed and shed on my "mental beach."
Freedom means many things to people. When we suppose that life
is just a "step" away, and that we cannot take that
step, and we spend so of our energy regretting, wishing for, resisting...etc.
that step, often we find ourselves thinking about what we do not
or can not have.
So I have been lucky (whatever that means) to have been taught
that lesson in a relatively gentle way, to submit to the wonder
of the moment and not take this life for granted. When the going
gets too fast, I make my increments of time smaller and smaller
and find my light and truth in a day, an hour, the next fifteen
minutes...etc.
Having been "washed" on the beach of my humanity, and
left to live another day, I am at peace with time, at peace with
my own heartbeat, my place in the ocean of energy and vibes of
a million creations.
I really don't go looking for fights, or ways to inhibit others.
I suppose it is a closer understanding of the nuance of freewill.
We will never really "fail" at anything. We just collect
perspectives and experiences and live a story to share with God.
Zoe
e-mail artifax@ncsi.net
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